Drunken fighting Mad! Volbeat at the Paradise Rock Club

Goddamn these guys rule.

Fucking Volbeat. The easiest way to describe them would be if Johnny Cash and Elvis met somewhere properly sordid, got drunk, drove into Misfits’ tour bus, called up Metallica to help them kick their asses, Dimebag’s ghost appears to break it all up, and at some point everyone made merry and knocked back whiskey. And it all happens in Denmark.

Yeah, these guys are that fucking great. They fuse Rock’n’Roll, Groove Metal, Thrash, a kickass dose of Punk, and good ol’ 50s Americana to get what I call sonic perfection. If you haven’t listened, here’s some primers for your soon-to-come addiction.

Oh yeah, they’re damn awesome and you’d be a fool to say otherwise. I wanted so badly to see them that I nearly got lost on the way to the Paradise Club, but with some well placed directions-asking I was finally on the right track to the show. Goddamn you, Google Maps, for giving me train instead of bus directions. But I can’t be too mad, for I did make it and have a swell time.

I walked in while Cky was playing, and I was somewhat impressed, but I’m sure they won’t be going into my growing list of favorite bands anytime soon. Their guitarist headbangs like a motherfucker for an Alt Metaller, though.

One cannot imagine how impatient I was for Volbeat to hurry up and get onstage. The guy doing mic-cheks that went somewhat like this for about 15 minutes didn’t help either:

Heeeeeyyyy-yo!
Heyyyyyyyy-ya!

Hooooooo0-wo!

Heeeeyyyyyy-ya!

FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR PARENTS. I’m sorry, I was really excited for Volbeat and didn’t have time for bullshit quality control that would lead to Volbeat sounding great.

Anyway, when they opened up with a song I don’t know entitled The Human Instrument, everyone flipped out. Either people had gotten quite sauced during Hourcast and Cky or people just REALLY love Volbeat. My fears of a non-mosh show were quickly absolved, that much is true.

Guitar Gangsters followed, and boy was it fucking AWESOME. There was plenty of singing, plenty of pushing and shoving, and even a fight or two. Damn I love this band.

Next up was a new song, didn’t know it but it sounded good, and then they did a clever fusion of A Moment Forever and Hallelujah Goat. Great way to save time, and it shows what versatile performers they are.

If you watched/listened to Radio Girl posted above, you’ll know just how stoked everyone was when “OH RADIO GIRL, PLAY THAT SWEET HEAVENLY SONG” emanated from the modern day mouthpiece of Rock’n’Roll himself, Michael Poulsen. I sang along, I jumped around, some more people were beat up… I think I fell in love that night.

Not ones to disappoint, they did pull out a few covers, including their famous adaptation of Johnny Cash’s “Sad Man’s Tongue” and Misfits’ “Angelfuck”. They even briefly lampooned Motörhead, Metallica, and Cannibal Corpse. You’d have to be there to experience it, but their closing rendition of Slayer’s “Raining Blood” just about made the night for myself and a few of the more Punk/Metal oriented people there. Between The Buried And Me, you have competition, it’s official.

Relation? Hopefully.

Other greats they played included Pool Of Booze. Booze. Booza, Still Counting, and a song dedicated to the Volbeat fans entitled “Thanks”. How apropos and sweet. Hot Jesus Balls, I really do mean it when I say Volbeat could possibly be one of my new favorite bands. I stuck around for about a half hour after the show, risking missing the last few buses, just to see if I’d probably be able to have a few words with them, but no such luck. Until next time, Unibrow and friends. Until next time.

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