Summer Sucks

Which is why I present to you some summer listenings! Sorry about the lack of updates in the last few days, but I’m back on er… schedule? Don’t question me, motherfucker. Now sit back and get some iced tea while I list off 15 good songs to listen to on a nice summer day. And by nice summer day I mean blasting furnaces of hell. And why 15 songs? I dunno, because I can. But here’s one possible theory: Order Of The Phoenix was the best Harry Potter book, and Harry was 15 when it took place, so there you have it.

What Do You Mean It’s Not AWESOME!?

Unleashed – Winterland

Probably one of the mroe kickass bands out of Sweden, they don’t fuck around. They bring the fuckin’ heavy. Too bad Mr. Hedlund’s lyrics are usually not the most clever, but we can have a snowball fight any day.

Mayhem – Freezing Moon

It’s freezing. It’s a moon. It’s a Freezing Moon!

Between The Buried And Me – Selkies: The Endless Obsession

It is off their album Alaska, so not much explaining here. If you like this, just go listen to BtBaM’s entire discography real quick. It’ll only take a second and won’t hurt!

Woods Of Ypres – Through Chaos And Solitude I Came…

Woods of Ypres never really had traditional BM lyrics about how Satan will rape everyone, but rather about life in Canada and Black Metal itself. Frosty as a ber straight out the cooler… in Antarctica.

Iced Earth – The Path I Choose

Whereas most of the other tracks on Night Of The Stormrider are like a moderately heavy snow, this track is a blizzard. More straight up and thrashy, which is awesome because this is a song from their more Thrash period. Yes, Iced Earth weren’t always pure Power Metal writing songs about 9/11 and aliens, so I dunno what you’ll make of that if you didn’t know.

Dragonforce – Fury Of The Storm

According to the brainy ones at TVTropes, this song is a giant metaphor for a couple of snow plow drivers going crazy while listening to metal, mowing down innocent civilians in their tirade, so caught up in the glory that is Metal, the foolish mortals in their path knew none the better than to be steamrolled by a vehicle that isn’t even fast. Godspeed you, Brits.

Norther – Chasm

Mind you, this is a remix, and the original version is much screamier. It doesn’t fit at all, though, so I’m glad they made a clean vocal remix. It gives off that wintry atmosphere much much better. Not that the other one doesn’t, but this one is more of a winter wonderland and less of ice needles going up your nose.

Officium Triste – In Pouring Rain

Now for some moisture! Death Doom always makes me think of cold rain, and what better than a song with rain in the title? Noffin.

Entombed РThrough The Collonades 

Imagine you’re trying desperately to escape people who are hunting your, seeking to wear your skull for a codpiece, when you stumble upon a cave. “Oh awesome!” you shout, and jump in. What you find is a brilliant, cold, and very very blue world of danger, as you are surrounded by stalagmites and stalactites alike, all made of ice. At least that’s how this song progresses. I had to check to make sure the twinkling keyboards weren’t just a bad copy I had gotten of the song. It fits, though.

Abigail Williams – The Departure

As someone who once walked in the snow with this playing on his iPod, I can honestly say this is good winter music. And it is Black Metal, so by default, you should be thinking of snow, forests, wolves, all the like. Even though they are American

Sonata Arctica – Paid In Full

If the fact that their name is Sonata Arctica, which I assume means “Song of Ice”m wasn’t a clue enough that these guys like them some winter(They are from Finland!), then Pazuzu help you. This video also has lots of ice. And ‘splosions. Of Ice. I’ll stop now.

Behemoth – Entering The Faustian Soul

Although there is another song on Sventevith called Hell Dwells In Ice, I feel this one is a better representation of the cold melody that comes with good Black Metal. And it doesn’t suck!

3 Inches Of Blood – Balls Of Ice

BALLS… Balls… balls… balls…

OF ICE… Ice… ice… ice…

All you need right there. If it were possible to make spherical ice cubes(!?), then I’d do it.

Savaoth – Martyrion

Symphonic Industrial Black Metal? Sounds ridiculous on paper(or html based document), but works excellently in the hands of Savaoth. Their atmospheres are as cold as machines left to freeze on a distant planet, and their catchiness is like the plague.

Boris – Farewell

How fitting, yes? I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear. Boris is a weird band, but this song(and the whole Pink album) is quite accessible, as it isn’t Noise/Doom/Stoner Rock. It sounds like snow falling quietly at night while you sit and look out the window, forever alone. God I love this band.

And that’s all. Now go away!

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