Metal As Fuck Movie: Gladiator

Come at me, bro! And none of that pussy Flynning shit!

If you haven’t seen this movie, please go do. It’s good. Quite good. And it’s metal as fuck. Here’s why

1. Marcus Aurelius’ son Commodus kills him to become emperor. There’s a Technical Death Metal band called Son Of Aurelius.


2. Romans waging war against the Germanic barbarians. And they use bolt throwers. Or Ballistas. Or giant crossbows. Depends on how badass you are. Hint: The most badass use Bolt Thrower.

Potential ouchies

3. Spoiler Alert: When Russel Crowe dies, he is transported to the Fields Of Elysium where his dead wife and son await him. If you’re not familiar with the concept, then imagine the most beautiful garden you can. A paradise full of wonder, almost making you look forward to dying. Too bad it could be soundtracked by this.

Sound/image clash, anyone?

Fortunately, there is a back-up by a band called Battlelore. The title may not make as much sense, seeing as Elysium didn’t have much in the way of water in Gladiator, but it’s much easier on the ears.


5. A deleted scene that was a little controversial, but showed what Romans liked to do in their free time to dissenting religious practitioners. You know what that means…

666. Epic storyline. A man begins as a great general, helping his country expand their empire, and is betrayed by jealousy, and made a slave. Even as a slave, he fights to reclaim his country and bring down the tyrant. Fucking Metal. What better to commemorate the indomitable, indefatigable, and indestructible spirit that was Maximus than the hardest Metal band evar, DRAGONFORCE!?

I’ve run out, so you’re free to go. Cheers! \m/


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