The Pen Is Mightier Than The Riff: Album Art Is Cool

Alright motherfuckers, time to buckle down and look at some pretty stuff. The world of Metal isn’t purely sonic, not strictly noise, and definitely not just music. It’s also about the aesthetic one brings to the table, and how said aesthetic works in conjunction with the music. I’m starting to sound like an art school drop-out so I’ll just cuss more to compensate for this.

The more pretty the art is, the more willing I may be to check it out. If it’s a nice palette of blues and purples, I might be more willing to check that out than a brown shitsplosion type of cover, ya feel me?

Look familiar to you? Me neither.

as opposed to

E.T. lost his phone and fell in a cave, or Yarael Poof is a miner.

It can make all the difference, which many bands have smartly figured. No one wants some piece of shit CGI cover that you wouldn’t dare have on your CD rack for fear of embarrassment if a pretty lady comes over. Then she’ll think you have horrible taste in music! Okay that’s all bullshit, but seriously, a nice, sleek, well-made album cover beats out something that ain’t quite so visually appealing. The Quo Vadis album above is great, don’t get me wrong, but the art qould be better off not being Mr. Stretchneck looking at a shaft of light in Fungusville. They would’ve been so much better off recruiting Dan The Man Seagrave, master of the WTFScapes that have been populating albums for a couple decades now. Hell even The Devil Wears Fuckin Prada employed his services. Here’s one of his best, in my opinion, the cover of Decrepit Birth’s Polarity.

Mirroring Dimensions Intertwine Infinitely, more like.

Alright, no more Seagraves, they’re fuckin’ huge.

Album art not only determines whether or not I find it cool, but if the music matches the cover, then it’s go time, baby.

Shiny Happy People

Anaal Nathrakh’s isn’t the most cheery lot musically, taking a stab at the world’s ears with visions of nihilism and the apocalypse in just about every way one can imagine, and this album art encapsulates that perfectly. A picture of a bleak, bombed out wasteland taken in World War I is a subtle hint about what the album could be about, indeed. Sometimes album covers lie. Hell, just about everything that should fit a band’s aesthetic is missing aside from the music itself. Take Wormed, for instance.

Just looking at the album cover, you’d probably assume they were some sort of Sci-Fi Industrial Blackened Melodic Death Metal of the sort, with calming keyboard atmospheres and polyrhythmic chugs that make the flat-brimmed hat kids happy in the pants.

Yeah, what he said.

 Well, at least about the Industrial Blackened Melodic Death Metal part.

Space Slam at its finest. Though the music is pretty good, and the vocals froggy, the cover lied! No biggie, but hell, Slam usually has covers like this.

It’s a beaut!

So before my spiel becomes tiresome, I’ll just throw in some album art I like and call it a night. Behold, EXODIA.

Emeth – Telesis

Fleshgod Apocalypse – Mafia

Black Flag – My War

The Black Dahlia Murder – Nocturnal

Darkthrone – Soulside Journey

Tombs – Winter Hours

Coffins – Buried Death

Therion – Sirus B

All Pigs Must Die – s/t

Iron Maiden – Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son

King Diamond – Abigail

Stratovarius – all of them

And that concludes this exciting episode of Dragon Ball Z. Stay tuned for the next urgent broadcast!


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