I Don’t Think They Make Spam Anymore: Kamelot at the Palladium

The one positive about arriving late to a show is that it makes my workload much easier. So my entourage effectively missed half the show due to traffic on Mass Ave, which meanth The Agonist and Blackguard didn’t get the pleasure of seeing me in a whitee Dying Fetus shirt, but fuck them, mah niggaz held it down.


Ye be eyin’ the bonnie lass with pleasure, matie!

My intrepid crew of fresh faced hornswogglers made it just in time for the initial drop o’th’anchor, and we rushed in to do battle with our enemies. The savvy buccaneer lads in Alestorm dinna spare the whip! For years longer than I’ve been swabbing the starboard bow, they’ve been makin’ ye olde seas churn with the froth not of water,  but pure mead! And a touch o’man sweat. With jaunty ocean ballads like Nancy The Tavern Wench, Wenches And Mead, Captain Morgan’s Revenge, Heavy Metal Pirates, Keelhauled, and Wolves Of The Sea, they got the landlubbers chanting along to every barnacle encrusted word as though they’d be made to sift through Davy Jones’ gym locker. FIRE THE CANNONS! The set was good, khed.

Is the keytar cool yet?


Hope to Pazuzu it’s shooped?

Kamelot’s a fucken good band, and few will say otherwise. With an expansive discography covering the many moods of Power Metal, from the speedy and majestic to the dramatic, there’s something for everyone to be found. Kamelot is a band that touches everyone deeper than a fisting session, and there are no blemishes to be found on their record as of yet… aside from the matter of Roy Khan’s sudden unceremonious departure based on a religious awakening.

Of course... the signs were there all along.

With Khan deciding that God’s more important than being awesome, we’ve been suddenly gifted with the talents of a certain Fabio of Rhapsody Of Fire, The Passion Of A Thousand Birds Soaring Endlessly Through Cosmic Light In Search Of Their Prophecy’s Fulfillment. Sometimes shortened to Rhapsody Of Fire.

These guys. They taste Italian.

So yeah, if you had seen Kamelot when they had Khan, a merry fuck you. Although Fabio is certainly not a bad singer and is definitely a good man for the job, I still feel they could’ve done waaaay better. This may sound strange to say, but Fabio has a bit of an accent. And yes, Khan is Norwegian, but hell, he sounded ‘MERICAN enough, didn’t he?

Not to say that Fabio did anything wrong, aside from a couple of unnecessary crowd participation bits, but yeah, it was a bit distracting because A) We wanted Khan and B) His range isn’t quite the same. He’s competent, yes, but he didn’t make me cry when they played Soul Society and Karma, but Forever was close. The drum and keyboard solos(the latter of which was “interlude”) were entertaining, but could very well have been Love You To Death, Anthem, or Don’t You Cry, all of which I hoped would be played. But hey, they hit the jugular with the aforementioned songs, The Human Stain, March Of Mephisto(complete with backtracked growls), and When The Lights Are Down. The rest were songs I didn’t really know, one featuring a guest appearance by Simone Simmons, who I could give less of a fuck about, being in Epica, who are highly mediocre.

So yes, Kamelot had a great set, but I kept dwelling on Khan’s absence and Fabio’s inability to be a Khan clone, but hell, gotta make the best of it. The majesty of their songs doesn’t quite translate as well live, but their performance on CD makes it difficult to transfer the magic and beauty into a packed room full of sweaty people with swiveling lights trying to blind you anyway, so small potatoes. Seeing Blackguard would’ve made this 2x better, but I still got my 25 bucks worth, so go eat hummus and die. Goodnight.


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