Do You Like Segways? Arch Enemy at the Palladium and Weedeater at the Middle East

So yeah, Not Public School for grown-ups has started, and you may see less frequent postage. All two of you who read this regularly will be saddened, I know, but hold back your tears so you can like, read. Bitch.

Gin & Chthonic

Lich King approved

Yes, I just skipped the local bands. Basically, Nemecide was good, Untombed was ok, and I missed all the rest. Now on to Sonic.

It’s one of those things where you like the band, but don’t know enough to loooooove them and thus, the live show isn’t as exciting as it should be. And they didn’t play this.

Was it worth going to see the Taiwanese Dragons even though I didn’t know but one song played that night? Hellz yeah, mothereffer! Luckily they eschewed the corpse-paint, seeing as they weren’t in europe and had no one to impress. From the sound of it, their newer stuff seems to incorporate more traditional Asian flavors, so I’m definitely gonna check out their new release, I dunno about you.

Skeletonwitch

At first I was like

Then I gave you a huggle

The ‘Witch is back and bony, and still splitting skulls. Mah word, those pits were full of Devildriver tools, though. It was aight, though, with dickripping tunes like Upon Wings Of Black, Crushed Beyond Dust, Beyond The Permafrost, et al, it provided a good soundtrack for running track with sweaty drunk men. Sadly, the largeness of the downstairs failed to recapture the intimacy at Metalfest when they played upstairs, but you win some, you lose many.

DevilDriver and Arch Enemy

Went and got pizza instead.

Now let’s get fuckin’ stoned.

Traveling through time, dickjangle.

Fight Amp

The more you orally engulf the mic, the more committed you are to the art.

With the name Fight Amp, I was expecting either the oddball Hardcore band that opens up for random shows, or another Sludge/Stoner band in accordance with the rest of the line-up. Sadly(?) it was the latter, but at least they’re fun to watch.

Having done a split with equally obscure sludgers Kowloon Walled City and sounding a bit like a much less quirky Black Elk, they sure got my liking. Though the songs were a minute or two longer than they felt they should’ve been, and the vocals non-existent under the weight of the drums and bass, it was a darn good set, and kudos to their bassist for allowing me to stow my bag under their merch table!

Bison BC

…Dude.

Heavy, melodic, rituals. Fuckin’ A. Bringing a tad bit more speed and a Kentucky Fried slab of beef to the table is the mighty Bison. I hadn’t heard a lick from any of the bands here, just so ya know, but Bison writes songs so catchy you kinda want to sing along when the chorus rolls around. And you’ll find your upper body swaying back and forth from 180° to 90° uncontrollably. This is normal.

Hay guise, guess who Black Pyramid likes!

Saviours

Metal Band + Bay Area – Thrash = Waaaaaat?

Big fat dongs, the lot of ’em. They brought even more speed, busting out some neatly decorated double bass drums and more standard Heavy Metal type riffing.

28750232

I’m tired, I’m skipping ahead now.

Weedeater

DUH, SCHWINNING

I’m not explaining the bike thing, but just know that if you like Buzzov*en(at least one member is in WE), Dead Languages, Bongzilla, or any other Sludge/Doom band whose members clearly aren’t sober, do check out Weedeater. They’re such hillbillies that frontman Dixie will not be seen without a can of PBR, a trucker hat, a deranged expression, and oddly enough, a ratty Mickey Mouse shirt. Okay maybe that last one was special for that one night, but still, man. Drummer Keith looks like an unnatural polymer of the orangutan from the new Planet Of The Apes but with dreadlocks, and Devin Townsend, and the guitarist Dave just looks a little sketchy.

Ask your girlfriend what his dick tastes like.

Alright, to sum it up, Weedeater’s just dirty and will make you imagine the smell of spilled Pabst whenever you hear Stoner Metal for the rest of your life. Thanks, guys! Now go to fuckin’ bed.

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