Worst Logo Changes

I’ve been struck with a creativity bug, if you count my meandering attempts to arrange thoughts into prose creation. And yes, I am a sodomite.

Some bands can’t just be happy with what they had, or went and fucked it up for another reason. Some bands were wise enough to fix it. Others haven’t survived.

Napalm Death goes Elephant font

While this change didn’t necessarily mark a change in their musical quality, it raised a few red flags. Why go from perfectly fine electric fire to what basically amounts to a ransom note on quaaludes? It has since been mercifully reverted.

Tiamat decides their logo should be an italicised Helvetica typeface

I’m pretty sure fans wrote in complaining that the old one was a bit too hard to draw and the intricacy hurt their poor widdle hands.

Death hires pest control, a priest, a team of firemen, and a ghostbuster

It’s a tad hard to find a stand-alone of the middling logo without the spider but still with the Reaper head and a little fire’n’blood. Though this perfectly illustrates the odd cleansing the logo has undergone, as though someone up and sprayed it with holy water.

In Flames flirts with fonts, but then scratches it in a wooden desk

It’s a slight improvement, but only cements in people’s mind the fact that In Flames is now for angsty youngsters armed with a pen and an urge to destroy school property.

Sepultura goes to their roots in basic typography

Notice how they get less cool as the band does the same.

Fleshgod Apocalypse is tired of being a few steps away from unreadable, or so they say

If the music on Agony (which is good, but not as much as the first two) is as much an indicator, it’s also a sign of them being weary of having a guitar driven sound.

Immolation decides Death Metal needs Felix Tiling

This is a case where one must REALLY ask what was wrong with the logo. It looked like fire and a sword on fire! How much more Death Metal can you get?

Neuraxis felt that they needed to look towards a more geometrically sound future

While the new logo is certainly still great in its own way, looking at the masterpiece that was present on their first few albums almost makes you wonder what happened along the way. Like being fed bologna your whole life and then being given a small sampler of steak, if you’re one to think in those terms.

Judas Priest. Yes, I went there

Metallica loses its edge(s)

Metallica’s history of logo changes really tells its story; They started out badass, then they decided to drop their weapons since they appeared a bit too grizzled and hard, and once they realized their mistake, they attempted to re-grow their fangs, only to have them come back in a little crooked.

And that’s all I’m willing to do for you tonight, so put your wallets away for now. If you want a few examples of bands who have stuck with the same logo for their the entirety of their existence, peep these and remember; keep it simple, stupid.

Advertisements

I’m Excited For Maryland Deathfest. How About You, Fuckface?

You Can Touch It. Smell It. Taste It, So Sweet.

It’s that time of year again, and this here dude has for too long sat back and missed enormous festivals pass him by, and has developed a strange habit of speaking in the third person. For fuck’s sake, the only Metal Fest I can claim viewership of is New England Metalfest, and that was only one of three days, so I’m not sure if I should count that yet, though this year promises to be different if I get my way. Not even having little knowledge of the sound of almost half of the bands is a discourager, I want in, and I can say I was in. Kinda like that hot chick everyone wanted to bang in high school, but never really could. And no pictures of hot chicks will be posted for all you powerviolence jocks. So to subject myself to admonishment and humiliation, here’s a list of the bands I’m excited to see for various reasons, excluding the ones on Thursday since that day’s sold out as your mother’s crackwhore ass.

Godflesh, Napalm Death, Nasum, Ghoul, Macabre, Brujeria, Morbid Angel (heh), Winter, Haemorrhage, Dragged Into Sunlight, Cokebust, YOB, Saint Vitus, Electric Wizard, Suffocation, Backslider, Cough, Rwake

This includes bands I’ve yet to listen to but hear great things about. And we stoke the flames of a potential inferno within which Maryland will be consumed! Any pitiful mortals who have space in a car for myself and a traveling companion are certainly encouraged to speak now or forever hold their tongue in a jar of formaldehyde. Much appreciated.

Untombed Burger In A Boring Sesame Seed Bun at the Middle East Upstairs

Going to this was a product of coercion, and missing my “parents”, however I have recently found that one of my brothers is a Cylon and I must kill him.

Scalpel

Come no closer, lest you lose your mind.

I hadn’t seen Scalpel in about a year or so, and it feels good to rediscover what they sounded like. I could’ve sworn they were a bit more on the Deathgrind side last time, but now it seems they’re Blackened Death Metal with hints of Slam and a lot of cold melodies. The vocalist kicked arse, bringing an insane ability to shift from blood-curdling(that phrase again) shrieks and guttural growls all within the space of a few er… words? Anyhow, I think Alonso is vying to be one of the best Death Metal vocalists in Massachusetts, if not the whole scene with this blasphemous spewing of filth.

The guitars were great, the bass was loud and crisp, and the drumming was a bit unrefined at parts, but overall it held together to form a cohesive monster that looks to dissect and consume your senses. That was cheesy as fuck, but I’m running out of clever things to say here. Go listen to some fuckin’ Scalpel.

MAJOR FUCKEN EDIT: Dysentery

Well  I am officially lost as to how I forgot Dysentery even existed. Blame it on the alcohol.