Dashing Through The Corpses On A One Skeletal Horse Open Slayer

Are you sick of this snowless yet extremely cold winter? Have you been, as Jim Theis would say, repeatedly gutted by azure frost sceptres, expugnisively carved and robbed of joyous heat? Well I’ve got just the solution, and it’s guaranteed to not work. As a counterpart to my post made months ago called Summer Sucks, let’s tell Old Man Winter to fuck off.

Galneryus – Burn My Heart

Hopefully not the kind that makes you need a doctor, but one that gives you warmth and the urge to fight cosmic dragons wearing nothing but skinned wolves.

Skinless – Crispy Kids

A nice warm home cooked meal goes a long way to making the house warmer.

The Proselyte – Slaw

A good ray of sun here and there can’t hurt, especially when wind chill is aging you by the minute.

Defeated Sanity – Apocalypse Of Filth-Collapsing Human Failures

Feels like lava being forcibly poured in your throat.

Judas Priest – Hot For Love

If you have a significant other or enough money for a hooker, beseech them have intercourse with thee.

Dismember – Let The Napalm Rain

I love the smell of mass murder in the morning.

Mastodon – Burning Man

We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn.

Grave – Trial By Fire

If your trial does indeed take place by a fire this winter, be grateful, because some courthouses don’t have central heating.

Type O Negative – Pyretta Blaze

Yes, you may be driven to such desperate measures as burning people’s houses down for warmth, but who could fault you, really?

Winter – Into Darkness

Though in the end, you’re still going to be cold.

Dark Throne – Too Old, Too Cold

FOREVAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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