A Retrospective: Looking To Nu-Metal From A Nu-Angle

Welcome back to hell, all five of you! I’m sure you’ll like this blast from the past as I delve into what I thought of some Nu-Metal bands I worshipped when I was but a wee lad, assuming wee lad means anything under 17.Feel free to make fun, just wear a condom.


Well that's just one of many ways you can look like an Anime character, Mister Static.

When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny 

This is pretty cool. The fact that I can’t understand him must mean it’s Death Metal or something. Their guitars are wicked heavy, too!

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

Er… I’m not sure if he’s compensating for the horrid lyrics by making himself unintelligible. The samples are kinda dumb but it’d feel so empty without it. The guitar tone’s actually pretty okay when they use heavier riffing, other than that it’s just an attempt to sound like whatever the fuck “Evil Disco” is. I’m not sure if they know what Disco is.

Linkin Park

Linkin Park fan Photoshops and AMVs are the framework on which the internet stands


When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

Damn this song’s so emotional. Every time I listen to it I feel like I connect with Chester on a deep and personal level. And the climax is so badass and heavy, it gives the song some much needed weight after all the intense outpouring of sadness.

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

Dear Lord, why did I like this song so much? I almost feel ashamed to say I still like Linkin Park to some nostalgic degree because of songs like this. At least their non-ballads were slightly better written, and that’s not saying much at all. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna destroy to the sick slamz in No More Sorrow.


Gee, all this venting atop the outcroppings of our respective feelings just wears on our souls, yaknow?

When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

You are only matched in machine-like adherence to being angry even though you have a rabid fanbase and no real reason to be so by Static-X, your Nudustrial Metal peers. Damn you know how to write a great hook.

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

Not gonna lie, I still jam this song out once in a while, since its chorus is catchier than airborne ebola and has a certain degree of poetry going for it, as far as angsty 13 year old who cuts herself when her mom tells her to take out the trash literature can go.

40 Below Summer

What, you too good to look angry for the camera?


When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

This is just about THE perfect song. It’s most awesome to kick people’s asses to in Backyard Wrestling. Especially that jackass with the clown paint and his evil clone.

Now That I’m full-On Grizzly

Still love this band, and actually would be excited if they re-united. This song is pretty much what you’d show someone if they asked you what Nu-Metal sounded like and you didn’t want to embarrass yourself by showing them Limp Bizkit. Speaking of which…

Limp Bizkit

I’m as confused as you are, George Bush. Why won’t this band die?


When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

 Yeah, I wish I had the courage to beat up annoying people. I’d def have this song on in the background too.

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

HAHAHAHAH! I still own this album, and in all honesty, it has a few good tracks, it’s just that they’re so poorly written that all potential good that can be derived from any of them is squandered the instant Fred improvises or has a stroke of anti-genius. It’s just one of those days. These guys seem to be a glutton for punishment, consistently breaking up or breaking it off with Wes Borland, only to come back with a new life bar and a set of new techniques with which to inconvenience the hapless player, their most recent attack being called Gold Cobra, a devastating bling strike that renders you unable to speak. It’s just one of those days.

Drowning Pool 

I laughed when I saw the video too, so I guess we're on the same page.


When I Was A Gahlycrumb Tiny

This guy’s growls are awesome! I bet normal people are scared of this stuff!

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

…What the hell, younger me? That’s not growling at all! And I’ll be wont to find someone who’s not doubling over with fits of belly laughter after seeing A) the mind-breaking hackjob of a “haircut” that sits upon the late Dave Williams’ head here and B) the drama mask faces that he can’t seem to stop making. I’ll give Dave credit, though, as his taste in music off-DP seemed quite decent, and eh sported Dark Fuenral, Iron Maiden, and Bathory shirts, so I’m confuzzled as to why he lent his throat to this.



When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

This song is the ultimate badass anthem. Holy fuck. I would so kill my mom to this if I were a mom-killing lunatic like the guy in this story. It’s just the most ridiculously awesome thing I’ve ever heard.

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

Heh, well this is interesting, I’m not sure where the mom came in two-thirds of the way int he song, but poor story-telling aside, this is still great for comedic value mostly. I like Disturbed, and I now know they aren’t the pinnacle of heaviness, and that Dragon Ball Z is a parody of itself, much like Disturbed should have been, but they got spr srs with Believe, which is their best album I would say.

Papa Roach

Back when Mister Dick and crew were nasty

When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

This song rocks so hard, and compared to Papa Roach’s Rap-Metal stuff, this is a good break and a way for Coby to show that deep down inside, he’s a softie.

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

It’s still a pretty okay song. Definitely more bearable lyrically than Infest, and I’m not sure about Love Hate Tragedy but I’m not sure if I want to anyway. Overall I still hold Papa Roach near and dear to my heart, but it’s probably a bad idea. I don’t give a fuck.

Maximum The Hormone

Where are the naughty tentacles and chibis? This isn't really Japan.

When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

Dude, J-Rock with Death Metal vocals? This rules so hardcore. Kawaii desu~

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

Urghrghgh. Not Death Metal at all, but certainly still a very good song. Melding honky tonk Andrew W.K. piano rock with Nu-Metal crunch, Hip-Hop bounce, Funky bass grooves, and Hardcore Punk aggression is something only the Japanese could concoct and execute so goddamn well.

Dir en grey

Dir en grey's scorn for weeaboos who don't appreciate their culture is expressed even by weeaboos themselves by accident.

When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

This is the heaviest and most epic song ever. Because it’s Japanese. And it’s Dir en grey.

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

When I first heard this song through the Baki The Grappler theme, I kinda guessed it was Diru, having never even heard them before. How I clairvoyantly surmised this, I’ll never know, but the gods spoke to me that day. now this is from Diru’s odd middling phase where they tried to emulate American  Alt. Rock and Metal bands by throwing temper tantrums and having as many fits of irrepressible rage as they could while also reeling it in and crooning, and like any Japanese band, they’ll succeed flawlessly. This is certainly not the heaviest song they’ve ever written, not even close (their poppiest album has heavier ones), but it’s still one of my favorites.


"Great photoshoot, guys! Now let's allow the lab technicians to get back to their scheduled hours."

When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

This song is pretty good, the lyrics are too whiney even for me.

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

This is just hilariously bad. It’s Adema’s only “good” song, Immortal being in close second and that song fucken blows. Don’t make this mistake, kids.

həd (p.e.)/Hed p.e./ hed p.e. however the fuck you want to stylize it.

I’m not sure what inner-city neighborhoods this lot were randomly selected from, but they were given instruments and a band was born.


When I Was A Gashlycrumb Tiny

YEAH! THIS IS WHERE IT’S AT! Fuck bitches, get money, fuck faggots!

Now That I’m Full-On Grizzly

This is gonna be a long one…

hed p.e. is a tragedy in the music world. They were once a pretty okay Rap-Rock band, as far as Rap-Rock bands could go for anyone who wasn’t my age and thought Rap-Rock was the very epitome of musical acheivement, reaching all ethnicities -since everyone likes a little rock’n’roll and rap- and being a true expression of poetry with the unchained aggression of driving guitars behind it to accent its already corrossive urban flavor. And then bad things happened. Really bad things.


 It’s not safe to like Rap-Rock, if it has ever been, but these guys are making it even FUCKIN’ HARDER.

Y’know, I bought Only In Amerika with my own hard-earned money, and I forced myself to like it because hey, I had limited music and no internet, so I HAD to like it. But now, no limits. No need to relegate myself to half-assed, limp-wristed, mind-bogglingly lazy attempts at “music”, having to endure every utterance of “nigga”, “faggot”, “ho”, and “pimp” that shouldn’t exist outside of gangsta rap, and attempting to ingest a heated iron rod would be easier now than sitting through that album without feeling that deep down inside, I’d be better off abusing Sharpies as inhalants. Disregard anything they’ve put out since that album except Back 2 Base X, which was like a return to form before morphing back into a conspiracy theorist pro-ho gangsta nu-rock project that equally calls you a pussy and calls you to fight da powah, regardless of what you’re doing in life. Because that’s the power of music. Like Winds Of Plague cementing their “2008 shit” into Reloaded, you are a pussy in Jahred’s eyes. How do you feel? Bitch.

 S is for SEAN, at the end of his wit.

T is for TORTURE, this post hurts my tits.


3 responses to “A Retrospective: Looking To Nu-Metal From A Nu-Angle

  1. You still have a lot of growing up to do if you refer to yourself as Full-On grizzly. Oh, and try not to define yourself by the music you listen to. Thats pretty one dimensional.

    Now I may vent about your list, please. We all liked nu metal at one point. We where young and it was a fad, but seriously I thought you’d list better bands than this. Even more the bands you defend are terrible. Limp Bizkit has 0 redeemable qualities, and I tried to like Korn once because I thought it was cool. Linkin Park is awesome (and so not nu metal)…Where is Sepultura, System of a Down, Mushroomhead (Don’t really count because they are a Patton-equ parody of the whole thing and have jazz, death, pop, electro and chamber music elements), 36 Crazyfists, Glassjaw, Fear Factory and Chimera (again don’t count too much because of the death metal vibe), Deftones, Lostprophets, Nonpoint, Early Incubus, Rage Agianst the Machine (technically Rap Metal and Hardcore), Otep, Mudvayne? Hell even Demon Hunter, Flyleaf and Evanescence are better! Why!?!?!?!? There is a whole depth of bands considered nu metal at one point in their career that have contributed greatly to the world of rock and heavy metal, that have left lasting impacts on the history of modern music. How did you never find them before you branched out to the heavy more obscure stuff or even the ‘cores’? Sorry to rant but just…..why?

    • No need to apologise, man. I was basically stroking off some sort of rage-fire that wasn’t even there and didn’t need to exist, ha. I’ve been working on getting the stupid out of my system, and with this one it was the equivalent of taking a piss on a random building in broad daylight while drunk and then being near that street next year to find that someone had seen me, and was ready to reprimand me. There’s a funny reason for why I chose that metaphor, but you can further pursue that only if interested.

      I’m not proud of it by any means, but at the time, there probably was some reason why I thought it made sense, and in that context, I don’t regret it. I wish I had been smart enough to see my own writing through, but we all make mistakes, and sometimes they’re on the internet forever. I could go delete them, but then I’d only forget how not to be dignified in text, and end up doing that all over again.

      In short: Thanks for reading and taking the time to respond in an intelligent way, though, even if it was to basically say I was an idiot, haha. Your input is highly valued, to use the corporate lingo of UniStat.

  2. Heh, I just stumbled randomly upon your article and somehow, as a 20-something who still like Nu-Metal (even though I also listen to other genres), I just felt like responding to it:

    – Static-X: I’ve always felt like this band was 3rd rate Nu-Metal. Catchy and bouncy yeah, but also very bland, simple and repetitive (even for the genre’ standard).

    – Linkin Park: Never really cared about this band. It sounds okay when played in the background, but that’s it. It’s radio Nu-Metal.

    – Limp Bizkit: Nah man. See, this is one band I still listen to and am not afraid to say I like. Fred’s lyrical abilities may be laughably abysmal, but damn if it ain’t cathartic and the music as a whole is not infectious! As a matter of fact, I’d put LB over Static-X no question. Let’s not pretend the new tracks with Cash Money Records exist though, they are truly bad.

    – Disturbed: Hum, I’ve always prefered “Stupify” anyway. Another 3rd rate Nu-Metal.

    – Papa Roach: Eww Papa Roach. They were 3rd Nu-Metal with Infest and Lovehatetragedy, but starting with Getting Away with Murder, they started to suck so hard it’s not even funny. I guess LHT had some traces of that emo/hard rock thing that would become a staple for the band later, but at least that album kept it to a minimum. Let’s just say the moment Mister Dick started to put mascara on his eyes, the band was dead.

    – Maximum the Hormone: They are not Nu-Metal, plain and simple. Sure they are catchy and bouncy, but would you say that SOAD was Nu-Metal? Seriously? They are both Alternative Metal.

    – Adema: I agree so much. This was like the whinier side of Nu-Metal that I could never find myself to listen without being ashamed. When I tell people I still like Nu-Metal, this is definitely not what I’m referring to.

    – (hed) p.e.: Ha! Only in Amerika is deemed as the band’s worst album, but I actually like it. Yeah, the lyrics look like they may’ve been written by a 8 years old, but damn if it ain’t infectious!

    As for the other bands, they’re cool.

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