Damn that rhyme’s dope. Wasn’t even planned ahead of time, either; just naturally came from the flow of universal energy and my own innate cunning. My head’s going to get bigger unless someone tells me I suck.
So, as you may have guessed, this is one of those year-end lists. Only mine will be better than everyone else’s, so don’t read theirs; they probably saw something boring like Wing. Who wants to see a random elderly Chinese woman sing when you can spinkick people? I’m not going to fact-check this, so if you saw Wing instead of a cool show, go screw. Here are the lists now.
Top 10 Shows In No Particular Order, Because I’m Aiming To Be More Positive
1. Boris @ Brighton Music Hall
Need I say more than Flood? I mean, damn. ¾ of an album/song I thought I’d never get to see performed in my lifetime due to Boris having altogether too much material to get to it all at their convenience. The only thing that could’ve made the whole thing better was if they got 3 more hours to just play everything I wanted to hear. Serious. Too bad I was poor, so I couldn’t make the show the night before. Maybe I should be a whore.
I’ll have to see Boris at least 3 more times to have a well-rounded setlist experience, but I can cross off ‘Huge’ and ‘Flood’, at the very least.
2. Infest/Crudos @ ChiTown Futbol
Seeing as I went to the center of the damn continent to view this spectacle, it only makes sense that my expectations were high and would be met without question. Thanks, skydad, AKA god or whatever you call it. It was everything I had hoped, and a burrito on top. Yum. I was especially pleased to hear that singer Joe Denunzio’s vocals have gone full retard; from the strained shouts of their legendary original recordings like No Man’s Slave that would come to be influential to Powerviolence and Hardcore, to the constipated vomiting of Spazz and Lack Of Interest fame. Glorious. Crudos killed it as well; I’ve never seen that many brown kids stagedive or just generally be at a punk show. It was something inspirational.
3. Nails @ Great Scott
Nails are without a doubt one of the angriest sounding bands out there. If you’re not hip to it, get on my level immediately, because the mosh will not care where you are. On a bus, at your desk, in a nursing home, it doesn’t matter. You will be seized by a violent want to hurl heavy objects around when you hear the opening breakdown of “Wide Open Wound” after a ‘get-psyched’ exhale gives the weak an extra second to duck for cover. Early Graves also performed admirably, though the crowd didn’t entirely know what to make of their brand of hardcore, which, while moshable, is kind of like fancy beer; you can get drunk on it, but it’s not necessarily made for that kind of use.
I don’t even want to know what the pit during SoCal’s sludge/doom/beatdown bruisers Xibalba must’ve looked like, though. I’m not THAT crazy. Probably never will be. But hey, they sounded good, so golf claps for calmly listening and avoiding injury like a lil’ bitch.
4. Wintersun @ The Sinclair
I’ll be honest, this show made the list only because I finally got to see Arsis. And they played “The Face Of My Innocence”, unf. Though don’t get me wrong, Fleshgod and Wintersun also rule(d), but my main focus was the Virginian metallions and all of their melodic, sorrowful splendour. I would have dug FgA’s set more if they had included some of those but real goodies (insofar as they may be called such for a newer band), and hey, Wintersun was Wintersun, so you can’t talk shit.
5. Weekend Nachos/Spine @ The Democracy Center
You just KNEW this was coming. Did you? I don’t care, whatever. But dude, this show was off the hook and a half. If you either didn’t show up on time before it sold out or just didn’t come, fuck you in the neck. Naw jk, it probably wasn’t your fault. But you still missed a heck of a performance from all the bands involved. Even Curmudgeon got a pit, and that like, never happens, man. Old friends don’t mean shit, indeed.
6. Suffer On Acid/Demoralizer/Ira graves @ PT-109 (R.I.C.)
This was what I believe to be the final show at PT-109, or at least for the time being. You know how Allston works; cops come in and ruin everything, and like a nasty wound, with with the application of some care and a generous amount of time, everything goes back to normal. Sadly, Allston’s coming under so much fire lately that it’s become harder and harder to just have a good time there, but at least they went out with a bang, and in the smallest room possible to get a pit in despite the obvious limitations. Pass the blunt, and a beer, and we’ll say farewell to a piece of Boston DIY history. For now.
7. Deafheaven @ T.T. The Bear’s.
Oh no, I guess I’m a hipster. In a strange loop of irony, you are one too, so it evens out. No matter how hard you try to not become one of them, you will be to someone, hence you’re a hipster because someone said so. Fuck all that noise, just like what you like, or something preachy along those lines. I happen to enjoy Deafheaven, and thus happened to enjoy their performance (which was balls-out intense, surprise). The heat and smother of summer rather than the bite of winter is the ideal climate companion for this particular brand of Black Metal. Or as someone in a YouTube comment said, maybe it should be called “Gold Metal”, for its use of scintillating major chord harmonies, limned with poetry in sound. But only hipsters make up terms like that. ATTN: Liturgy, ahem. And just like that, I’m straddling a bandwagon. It’s easy; try it.
It’d be easier to count how many people’s year-end lists DON’T have Sunbather on them. I’d say about 12.
8. Parasitic Extirpation @ O’Brien’s
I’ll put it out there right now; O’Briens is one of the shittiest official venues in Boston, as far as how it’s built at least. They get fine bands playing from time to time, like any venue that you’d be willing to be caught dead in, but the pillar almost directly in front of the stage and the dim-lit bar atmosphere complete with drab grey walls are a few factors that make the place a tad unwelcoming to a lover of aesthetic like I, and it really cramps my style. Call me Oscar Wilde, but that place is in dire need of beautification. But I didn’t start this post to complain about venues, so moving on.
This show was a throwback for me, in a way. Only a few years ago, death metal was what I was obsessed with, particularly a few local acts, including Composted, Dysentery, Sexcrement, Scaphism, et al. Over time, my interests drifted, and the bands likewise have been playing less or just at times/places too inconvenient for me to revisit them. This night in particular, I got 68 oz. of Steel Reserve in me, and was in the right mindset to enjoy some pulverizing slams, expugnisive and geometrically unsound yet artistically valid riffs, and burped/growled/slurped/puked/screeched/gurgled monstrosities of vocals that we call “singing” without blinking. It was nice. I felt 18 again. Only drunk.
Fields Of Elysium were the true treat, having come all the way from New Mexico, presumably to not be in New Mexico for a while, and to also show Boston how to do headfuck technical death metal right; with pizzazz, and a shot of jazz.
9. Ramming Speed/In Defence @ Cambridge Elk’s Lodge
The circle was alive, and the pit was it. How anyone could hear In Defence’s charmingly humorous yet sophisticatedly crafted take on a thrash/punk hybrid and disagree with the sheer kickassery is a concept beyond me. Maybe I’m pigheaded and opinionated to an unhealthy level by saying this, but if you don’t like In Defence, something’s wrong with you, boy/girl. This being Ramming Speed’s last show as a Boston-based band, it was only proper to send them off by drinking some beer and causing some ruckus in rotary formation at high speeds. All while dressed to kill (cops).
10. Between The Buried And Me @ The Palladium
Why? Because Between the Buried And Me played Parallax II in its entirety, of course.
Honourable Mention: Trap Them, Melt-Banana, Wormed, Ultra//Negative’s “last show”, Dropdead (both times), Ceremony, Coke Bust, and Kromosom
3 Shows I Did Not Have a Posi Fun Time At, And Why
1. Maryland Deathfest @ Former Sonar Compound
I should’ve been elated beyond belief that entire weekend just to be existing in Baltimore while “America’s Biggest Metal Party” went down and turned the city into a giant occurrence of ‘Heavy Metal Parking Lot’, only with more crusties and less safety. In the course of that weekend, I managed to somehow miss Pig Destroyer due to falling into a kush/beer coma. Among the other things I fell into: a brief but soul-crushing depression; something illegal, white and powdery nose-first; and the arms of a security guard, who hustled me out and took away my wristband for being underage drunk. Yay for beer! No worries, I only missed Ihsahn, The Melvins, Down, etc. No big deal, right? *cue sobs* I justify the ticket price as having paid for the experience, even if I didn’t get to see half the bands, so good enough.
The bands I did manage to see/hear, I did enjoy as best as I could post-mental meltdown, but before that point most things were hunky dory. Aside from getting my life threatened by a blue-shirted middle-aged man, sitting and conversing for some hours with the infamous (but nice) parking lot oogles, and just being in a funk —literal and figurative, as I did not shower for 5 days— the whole weekend due to my expectations being shattered at seemingly every turn, I did win 3 bucks in a game of C-Lo, have some interesting conversations with my fellow showgoers and friendly people, and successfully avoid sobriety. Fuck this gay Earth; I need better luck, and a better brain.
If I taste another drop of National Bohemian, I’ll doubtless have an unfavourable autoimmune/psychologically induced reaction and immediately begin tearing up and wailing incoherently about my failures. Here’s to hoping next year won’t mark the third time in a row I’m sad when I should be moshing.
2. Backslider @ The Democracy Center
You ever get really excited about an upcoming hardcore show, think shit’s gonna be bouncing nonstop like the Hadron Collider only with black-shirted kids, and then find out you basically just saw a mini indoor Woodstock sans drugs? That’s how I felt about this show. You can’t step to anything, nerds.
3. Gay Kiss @ Trouble Ahead (R.I.C. also)
What better way to ring in the new year than to dump on a show that happened on New Years… this year/last? I only bring this up because like the Backslider show, I feel like I was part of an oil-painting of a hardcore show happening in front of a bunch of bored people rather than actually at an event that people were stoked for. Even Ancient Filth couldn’t get people moving, and that’s just wrong. Perhaps that was just not the night to have a show, but still, could we get just a little more energy in this town? Ye gods, I saw more movement at Shonen Knife than both of these shows combined. Hang your heads, Boston standstill punx. Go to a Sox game if you don’t want to enjoy yourself. These guys were a grand in debt, so I bought a shirt from them for five bucks. Coming all the way from New Mexico to be stared at; I felt bad.
Shows I Didn’t Go To For Stupid Reasons And Am Sad About
Six Feet Under/Cattle Decapitation because I didn’t feel like spending money even though I had it.
Suffocation for the same reason.
Dir en grey because I wasn’t feelin’ it.
Cult of Luna because I’m a lazy fuck, and now I shall pay for it because they’re going on hiatus or something.
There are probably others, but let’s not dwell on how I managed to bollocks up life. I already think about that every day. The nightmare continues.
So there you have it, a recap of how my year went, or at least what I remembered of it. How was yours? Oh, and (un)happy New Year. Here’s to 2014, and praying that the streak of bands making good music goes on forever, because good music is… good. Night. Depending on your timezone or whenever you happen to read this. I don’t care, fuck it.